I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
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