im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
