When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
ttyl tear gas
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
