Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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