this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
