Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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