I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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