I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize