the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
