thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
