You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
