Grow some girl-balls and come out already
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
