no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
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some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
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I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
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