I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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