The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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