i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
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Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
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NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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