evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
