Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
