Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
