The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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