God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
