sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
too bad you live with your parents still
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
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