broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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