my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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