You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
