can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
