question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
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You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
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