The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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