Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Randomize
