My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
