I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
