Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
