member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
