I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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