a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
