My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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