like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
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