Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
