I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
