I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
