I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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