the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
