all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
