My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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