dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
