OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
