Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
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