Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Are we still banned from the library?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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