I think im going to throw up on grandma
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
