May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
