Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
