hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
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My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
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