hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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