her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
