I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
