Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
No subtext here. People are naked.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
i would one night stand the shit outta him
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
