That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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