A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
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I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
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The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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