so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
