He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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