So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
